Steve wrote this tribute to my mom on his mailings today. We both thought it was too good not to share with everyone on my Blog.

So I guess that is just the first part of our long summer that is just ending. Ending with the summer is the commands I used to hear as I came in the door to hurry up and sit down in the kitchen and have a cup of coffee that was already just fresh poured for me. Also ending is my tip
toeing past the baked goods that were always on hand, so I would not gain too much weight with each visit. I know I will never hear her tell me how I am her favorite son in law, because I take care of Fran so well. Of course I will not hear her say that to Mike, because he takes care of Roz, or to Randy, because he takes care of Amy. We were all her favorites, and we all felt loved by her.
My days of playing pinochle, partnered with Dad against Ma and Fran, and my days of complaining when she forgot what she was doing and played the wrong suit, that is ended to, along with the smile on her face when she had a good hand, and knew that there was nothing we could do to stop her. I will also miss that same smile when she set a verbal trap for Dad, just before giving him a good blast for leaving wet coffee on the table, or some other such thing.
Jo has tried to fill in making pasta for Sundays, and we had pasta, sitting at the same tables, this time out on Jr and Jo’s driveway on a wonderful sunny Sunday, but it was just not the same. The pasta was just as good, and the meatballs and spaghetti were close enough for me to not notice the difference, and the sauce was great. Dad still made the salad, and still left huge pieces of garlic in it. The oil bread that Megan made was the same as the oil bread that Ma made.
But we did not have to wait for Ma to finish serving everyone, and then herd her to the table as she tried to get a start on the dishes. We did not have her telling us that it just was not the same, that too many people were missing, that the group of twenty gathered around for Sunday pasta was just not enough people for her. (I was afraid sometimes that we might have to go into traffic, stop cars, and get strangers to come in and share the meal).
So an era of overcooked pasta, hot salad, incredible familyship and fellowship, and Ma’s smile ended with the summer, but her memory will keep everyone that knew her warm for many years to come.
Hey Ma, this one is to you . . .

S

ABOUT BEING HOME

We are STILL glad to be home but unfortunately we hit a bad bit of weather…hot and windy and not at all conducive to any real relaxation. Josh did not like to swim when we did
(he burns in the sun and we go just after mid day) so we did not spend too much time down there at the water. Now that he is gone I am sure we will be swimming more.
So I have spent some time again with Italian friends and concluded that a most striking difference between Americans and Italians (who are all, after all, on vacation) is the ease with which they can waste time away gossiping and talking about nothing! It is all part of the “posing” and bella figura that we read about so often. If you haven’t read anything on the subject, the author and native Italian Beppe Severgnino has just written an article in the New York Times about Italy being “The Land of Cheery Dysfunction.” The url is below:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/23/books/23grim.html

The premise is that it is not important here what “is” but what it “looks like it is.” So true so true.
We had our gala dinner last night and we were a cheery table of 10, divided between English speakers and non-English speakers. Beside Steve and myself, we had Josh and Lutz, a German who rents Brigette and Joe’s apartment and who speaks only German and English. Then there was the Andaloros, the brothers who are also American, one of whom speaks English and one who speaks only Italian. They were with their mother who speaks only Italian (there are many older people like her who lived in the US for years who never learned a word of English). Then there was our neighbors Toto and Anna who know no English but liked to gossip in Italian. In the course of the night Josh moved to sit with the young adolescents practicing English.
The meal was late and we got our main course just before midnight. In the meantime there was a recap of the summer activities through picture and video (I don’t think we missed much) and also a display of very fancy Argentinean Tango. Although Steve and Josh had to get up very early for the plane to Rome this AM, we tried to stay through it all. When we arrived back, we found messages saying my dad had been admitted to the hospital. I had just talked to him for almost 20 minutes the day before! So far it seems to be pneumonia, but we shall see.
Also tune in for the report on the annual meeting of the condominium Sunday and the great debate over whether cutting treetops that block out view is illegal or not! There are people here who say that it is not healthy for trees to be trimmed. Hmmmm.

IT FEELS WONDERFUL TO BE HOME

I am not sure how much foreign travel news and pictures you will get here because dear old Sciacca, Sicily is where I want to be just now. I am so happy to be here that I just don’t want to leave it after being away for over two months. Yesterday we picked up Lee 2 the canary from Paolo and Ignatzia and he seems happy to be back with us, though he has not sung much yet. I am slowly working my way through piles of papers and “junk” and will soon be organized enough to spend whole days at the beach without feeling guilty. The weather has been unbearably hot and humid, but we were working in our air conditioned living room. The loads of laundry dry in less than an hour in the furnace that is our backyard. Today we finally swam for hours and we felt like we grew fins, snorkeling and playing in the gentle waves of the Mediterranean.
All of our summer neighbors and friends here have come by and offered their condolences, and then they eye us to see how we have changed. I have heard it mentioned in almost every conversation and we ARE planning to work off the extra pounds we packed on in the states with all our take-out and restaurant eating. But how funny and how blatant the Italians are-they ask right away if you have gained or lost weight. Now that I am back in control again, it should be easy.
And speaking of control of our lives, we all require it to some extent, I think. Before I went to California right after my mom’s death, I could not concentrate enough to write even though I wanted so much to express my feelings and experiences with the family and our loss. But finally I was alone there one day and I sat down and wrote pages and pages concerning lack of control and my feelings of helplessness the many weeks that I was away, how it seemed that so many other forces controlled everything that was happening. I had some minor decision making ability but it was like an illusion because all the big things were all decided. It was very unpleasant for me and at times I became fearful that I would not be able to take much more of it, especially since I could not see a way out till I got home. I will not publish those pages of despair, but it did help me to write them down. It was almost the only writing I did all summer. I know from re-reading this writing that I learned how to be a bit more flexible and live for the day and not worry so much about the past and the future.
So a big plus is that I am finally over the problems I had with concentration on writing and reading. It was a struggle to even exist comfortably for several months, let alone be creative, but now that I am again “in charge” I am thinking and reading and writing easily. We brought back a lot of good books and I cannot wait to get into them. And I am also enjoying cooking and cleaning and organizing in my super comfortable home.
Our friend Josh from California who flew back with us will be traveling on further in Europe and we will gladly use our knowledge to help him plan the trip. We will also help Jon and Steph plan their November trip to Amsterdam, Berlin, and Sicily. Let everyone travel HERE for awhile and I will sit back content to be home at last.

ALMOST TIME TO GO.....

We leave for the Adirondacks on Wednesday to see Jess. She and I will enjoy our birthday presents, a half day at the spa in Lake Placid, and visit old friends and meet Jess's cat and bird. Then it is on to New Hampshire and Maine for a brief visit with Mike and Wendy and then Boston to see Jon and Steph and their new digs. These are brief visits, but it's so nice that both my kids are happy and settled with compatible life partners. Hopefully we'll see Susan and Amanda for dinner there in Boston, even though we will miss Walter and family. Then it is on to New York City and meeting Carl and Josh from California and Jane and Woody for dinner. So we will see many more friends before returning to Italy on August 20. Home sweet home!